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Majesty


: 56
: 21.10.06
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: 28, 2006 1:54 pm     :
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High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

NEW - Different color from previous design
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ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design
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EXCLUSIVE - Imported product
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UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition
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DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
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FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments
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ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it
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IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
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FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment
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HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit
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DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor
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YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works
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REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors
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BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it
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FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does
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DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others
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MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix
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RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope...
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HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on
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PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period
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MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours
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ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!
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BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise
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HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it
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NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will work
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MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction
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CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports
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UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
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BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together
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SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
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MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain
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LATEST AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing
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